Let’s just pretend for a second that you’re a good person, that the lies you told were to protect me from something you knew would hurt me. Let’s just pretend that maybe they were even lies you made up on the spot without any rehearsal or premeditation. Let’s just pretend you experienced so much guilt over feeding me lie after lie that it kept you up at night feeling anxious and overwhelmed. Let’s just pretend that you loved me so much you feared my knowing the truth would force me to leave and never come back.
Snap back to reality.
You lied because you are a compulsive liar. You lied because you don’t know how not to. You lied because you are flooded with such selfishness that it never crossed your mind how your lies might affect the person you were telling them to. You lied because you were so unhappy that you needed an escape from the reality you were living in. You lied because you didn’t care to know any better. You lied because you wanted my love, my affection, my comfort, my support and my body at the same time as you wanted her love, her affection, her comfort, her support and her body. You lied because you are a coward who can’t begin to understand or empathize with the consequences of your actions. You lied because your lies consume you from the inside out and just like a fire, you burn everything and everyone you touch.
Snap back to reality.
I don’t know why you lied. I don’t know why you wanted to hurt me so bad. I don’t know why you felt I wasn’t worthy of the truth. I don’t know why you felt I wasn’t worthy of you. I don’t know why you chose to enter my life and invade my heart without any regard for how I might break down when you left. I don’t know why you had such a hard time staying. I don’t know why you had such a hard time leaving. I don’t know why you won’t apologize. I don’t know why you won’t take it all back. I don’t know why you said you loved me when you knew you didn’t. I don’t know why this happened to me. I don’t know why you happened to me.
Snap back to reality.
I do know that I am hurting. I do know that the hurting will stop. I do know that I will look back one day and hate myself for ever thinking I could love you. I do know that I will look back one day and hate myself for ever thinking you could love me. I do know that I will never regret you. I do know that I can never hate you. I do know that I will miss you. I do know that I can do and feel those things because I am a better person than you are. I do know that you never even came close to deserving me. I do know that you were never even worthy of me, not even a quarter of me. I do know that my absence means nothing to you. I do know that I will fight until yours means nothing too. I do know that I will lift myself up and move on from you because I want to. I do know that I will love myself again but you might not. I do know that I will be happy again but you might not. I do know that I hope you prove me wrong but then again, you might not.
I feel sorry for you more than I feel sorry for me but not more than I feel sorry for her. Your 15 minutes of fame is up. This is the one and only post you get.
dxf
demonsinflux 